I’m exhausted. I’m not sleeping well at all, generally depressed and not having a good time. All this horror and tragedy with the protests and police brutality is really bringing me down. I’ve cut way back on my social media presence but it doesn’t really help, because the danger and injustice is still going on.
I’ve pulled all nighters several times in the last couple of weeks — I just can’t seem to fall asleep, and when I do sleep it’s not for more than a few hours at a time. So I drag ass every day just trying to get through it.
I have a meeting with the rabbi today (I’m writing this early on Thursday) that I’m kind of dreading — I don’t really like Zoom, and I constantly worry about what she thinks of me. So that’s a ball of stress. I also have a meeting on Sunday for my fraternity (also on Zoom) that I am dreading as well — it’s our national meeting and those can drag on for a while and get a bit heated. We have tried to allow for full participation on the voting parts by having a limited agenda and proxies with the regional directors voting on behalf of our membership, but I have a feeling it’s going to be a clusterfuck anyway.
On the gaming front my big, beautiful village in Banished went horribly awry — I had a lack of tools and firewood and ¾ of my population died of starvation in about 7 minutes. They need tools to bring in the harvest and just left the food to rot in the fields and died. I went back to an earlier save and tried to avoid the damage — and did for the most part — but my food production is still way below what is really needed to support my population. With a population of about 350 you need 35,000 units of food for a year, or 100 per person. I’m only bringing in about 28,000 a year and not sure how to get them to produce more, when a full half of my population does nothing but farm. So I started some others trying to sort out what I did wrong — and it took half a dozen tries to get one where everyone is surviving the first stages of the game. Freezing to death, starving to death, village burning down and then freezing to death — it wasn’t pretty.
On the home front, things are ok, we’re just drifting along really. Days blur one into another, we binge watch and game respectively — the last couple of months have been really weird. On the convert Mum to a Democrat front she asked me the other day if I thought that the next stimulus would have more money for regular people in it and I told her to write her representatives and let them know they should support it. She’s not a bad person, she just thinks that republicans support the military better — and thinks no one should judge trump. We’re not news watchers, there’s no FOX up in here anymore, (that was Dad) but I get frustrated with her minimizing all the bad things trump has done.