Depression isn’t normally an issue I suffer from to any great degree, but I have had a few episodes in the past. But even typing this, I find it difficult to get the words out. For the past week, I’ve found it increasingly difficult to even drag myself out of bed. I’ve had a persistent stomach pain and very little appetite. I have no energy whatsoever to want to do anything, not even my favorite pastime. I barely even want to read a book. I feel weaker and weaker and weaker with each passing day.
I’ve had this happen before. Happened to me in middle school every so often, usually lasted a couple of days and I got over it. Happened about twelve years ago following my grandfather’s passing, and that one left me in a horribly anxious state for some time. But this time?
It’s bad. Really bad. I literally feel sick. I feel like I’m in a dark spiral I can’t climb out of. As an example of how crushed I feel, I started writing this diary more than an hour ago, have made very few edits, and no deletions.
Before you start attributing this to anything; no, it’s not really Trump that’s causing this in me, so don’t try to console me on his ouster. But I do fear the world around me going mad, and Trump or no Trump...I can’t see a way out.