National Suicide and Crisis Hotline 988 (www.nimh.nih.gov/...)
It is nearing the end of January.
Nature has hit us pretty hard. We’ve already had out tenth winter storm come across the mainland U.S., and there’s still more to come.
We’ve had two electoral primaries. The results were predictable. The deeper stories behind these two events were not as predictable and the data told us that perhaps, people are getting sick and tired of always being sick, tired, angry and disgusted. As expected, Individual One has released his usual effluvium, making sure that the skunkiness is all over everyone.
The Iowa Caucus victory was underscored by low turnout (110,298 votes cast, state population 3.2 million; 3 per cent turnout, The Donald got 56,260 votes). Weather voted on that day as well, and the grain embargo and tariffs felt during The Skunk’s prior time in office have not been forgotten by the Iowan farmers who were penalized by the measures.
The New Hampshire victory was even more telling. Of the 316,680 people who decided to cast a Republican ballot, 176,392 voted for More Of The Same. The state’s population is 1.4 million people (13 per cent turnout for Individual One). Not really a landslide at all, not a rout, merely a statistical statement that an electoral process took place.
One person, Dylan Quattrucci, got himself “skunked” for putting out even more evidence of the Skunk’s trail of reckless, careless, discordant behavior (www.thedailybeast.com/...). The Grossly Overrated Party decided that posting evidence of a lawyer’s malfeasance was a bridge too far, and he was shown the exit door from the victory party. Somewhere, perhaps on X, there’s a post from him about alpha males needing to be protected.
Dylan, here’s a news flash…
Alpha males do not need protections. They know how to keep their big mouths shut and not behave stupidly.
The hungry, angry, lonely and tired folks are still out there. Their grievances are many. Some of this crowd prefer to remain upset, and I’m not sure how that’s working for them. One in particular, a fellow named Ted Johnson, had an article written about him (www.politico.com/...). We see a fellow who seems to have managed his life fairly well and appears to be rational, suggesting that we need to have a wrecking ball hit us, some overwhelming disaster, some catastrophic failure of our political system and all of its safeguards because his assessment is that it is all contrived, does nothing and helps no one.
That’s like saying burn down the barn because it couldn’t hold in the few horses you were keeping and you left the door unlocked, and put out a sign that said, “Free Horses, Come Take One!” Of course someone was going to come and steal them. Stupidity cannot be fixed by even more of the same.
- Did we not just suffer through a wrecking ball called COVID-19? Are we not still seeing the offspring of this novel viral entity emerging, as happens when viruses move into the human condition and spread? Do we not now have supplies and vaccines with which to keep people from winding up in the morgue?
- Is there not a war going on with two fronts, one in Ukraine and the other in Gaza?
- Have there not been sufficiently devastating earthquakes and fires, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, hurricanes, cyclones, tornadoes and calamity from Mother Earth? Scientists have agreed that our global climate is changing, even if there is no consensus about how rapidly it will become so fragile that human life cannot be supported. Aren’t we seeing regular catastrophe?
- Have there not been enough motor vehicle pileups, train derailments, airliner incidents and malfunctions, aircraft collisions, supertanker accidents to suggest that wrecking balls are coming at us on a regular basis?
A recent article in Huffpost (www.yahoo.com/...) cites college graduates as supporting Donald’s policies and would vote for him in this election. Most do not know his policies, but they know their own angry rants and his as well. When confronted about the real accomplishments under this current administration, they still believe what is simply not the truth. They’d rather believe the guy who lies every time he speaks, because it suits their made-up version of reality.
Confabulation is yet another form of stupidity.
Bill Maher had Seth McFarlane and Adam Schiff on his panel show this week, and all they could do was talk about how it is “all over,” how Orange Insanity is going to win, how young people have become enamored with Gazan victimhood during this atrocity, how Joe Biden’s presidency is to blame for everything happening. Ostensibly, the cause of this horrible war front is a fellow who aligned with Donald and his son-in-law Jared Kushner, one Benyamin Netanyahu. But looking for the real causes isn’t what people want. They want to act stupidly, feel angry and upset, feel their cortisol levels rise, and see “the whole thing come crashing down.”
They don’t have a replacement plan in mind. Okay, that’s just plain insanely stupid. And yet, we cannot allow ourselves to dismiss all of this sensational and absurd stupidity. We have to keep sifting through the effluvium as it pours out of the sluice, seeking evidence of something golden and glittering that we can do something about.
We are always in a cycle of demolition and renewal. Utterances like Ted Johnson’s reasons for supporting a liar, cheat, fraud and bully tell me he’s feeling very small, broken and wounded, and he doesn’t have a plan. This interview is seminal, because it gives us a glimpse into the mind of the average person who is willing to open up their pocketbook and spend money on a confidence artist and serial abuser.
It is a view of the deep sadness that absorbs a rather significant portion of the people. Sadness, or if you like, depression, takes away judgement and discernment. It leaves a Big Black Dog sitting on your couch, getting bigger every passing day.
Depression can also make us very stupid.
Humans are programmed by natural selection to anticipate negativity. Yup, pretty much, we’re not optimists. We teach our children to be cheery, because in our children we see the possibility of eternity and a happier place for ourselves. We want them to have protected lives, and we unfairly assume that we can either infinitely protect our kids from every threat and unfavorable notion that comes along. We teach optimism, until they get to adolescence, when their brains begin to function autonomously, and they see that bad things really do happen to all sorts of people, including the good ones. Then, another generation attempts to teach the unfavorable lessons without actually going through the misery of experiential learning. We humans repeat, and we hope we’re teaching the right things.
We learn from failure and regret.
But some of us don’t.
But there’s some people who figure that ignorance of the past, adherence to mythology, and remaining collectively stupid is the best path out of life’s moments of negativity. One school district in Florida has gone so far as to put the DICTIONARY on its banned books list ( www.chicagotribune.com/...).
Again, you cannot fix stupid by bringing ignorance to help solve the problem.
Stupidity can be very noisy. Stupidity can be temporary, as in the case of the overserved person at a nightclub, dancing on the table, singing loudly, and then being escorted out by helpful folk called bouncers. They’ll be left with a bad headache and only a passing memory that the night before wasn’t their smartest moment. Stupidity can also come in a more permanent form. The meter moves between the two limits, but it seems these days to be leaning toward too much current running toward full throttle stupid.
Winter can make us fat, dumb and — not happy. It leaves us saying and thinking really stupid things.
Long ago, I heard my father, in his demented state, talking the same kind of nonsense about, “What we need is another {economic depression, world war, catastrophic event} to snap us out of it and get everything back to right!” Some people are going to be unhappy, either because the world doesn’t turn as they wish it to, or because there is some item on the bucket list that offers regret, because it won’t come to pass for them.
It is the logic of misery, unhappiness, a self-tormented soul, wishing for company in the slough of despondency.
You do not fix problems by deliberately making them worse. It takes time, energy, care and thoughtfulness to remediate and reduce problems. Wrecking balls only provide for incredibly large fields of rubble and even more sad faces. Look no further than the horrifically depressing theaters of Ukraine and Gaza. Remaining resilient in the face of this sort of despondency uses up every bit of hormonal cheer we can muster. Tearing down our government because it requires study, thoughtfulness, altruism, sincerity and a willingness to dig in without any hope of getting paid for it will not cheer anyone up. In fact, when I hear this nonsense and foolishness, I think, “this person sounds very depressed, are they suicidal?”
I offer this thought, because, many seemingly successful people are unwell, and in a bizarre manifestation of the rewards of success, they’re so unhappy, that ending their life seems like a good idea. Taking others along for the Journey is in its sick way like dessert after a last meal. Suicidal people are lonely people. They want company as they pursue the mythology of The Rapture for themselves.
The Politico article has one more element that caught my eye. They met in a bar. Usually, there’s drinking involved. Alcohol has a funny way of revealing untrue views of a person’s “beliefs.” The older we get, the more we say things we don’t really believe when our thoughts are more organized. But for frequent drinkers, especially those who have seen and done things in life that were not pretty, what comes out in state-dependent conversation is a muddle of old lesions, prior trauma, past failures and a nightmarish swirl. Alcohol, being a magical compound that offers sedation, anesthesia and in really high-tolerant people, a necessary fuel for their daily routine, also offers us imaginative and blurry notions, creatures and events that come out of the mist, along with a considerable list of medical conditions that take up more permanent residence and need attention.
Stupid takes on a whole new meaning in that realm.
On the subject of wrecking balls, here’s another truth. If you stand in the demolition zone, you will likely get hurt by the debris. It won’t make you stronger. There’s a good chance it will kill you.
George Carlin, in a comedy routine over a decade ago said, “The world is not going anywhere. We are…“.
Damn, he was right, wasn’t he? We get old, we get crabby, life sends us into our Autumn and Winter, and we all hope we can make the planet stop being what it is becoming — a place that doesn’t include us!!
Depression is simply a part of life, and we don’t have to fight it, but we needn’t give in to its suggestion that all is hopeless. Small measures to remediate it and if necessary, medicate for it, are available, affordable and possible. Don’t stay in the condition of blue funk when resources are available to you.
Winter is a time when we try to get away from nature and its fury. We also try to get away from one another, because, well …
We pretty much used all of our good behaviors up to get through the various holiday gatherings and celebrations. Now we just need a break from trying to be “good.”
Many people cannot afford to get on a jet and fly away to a different place and have an uplifting experience. Some people who can afford it don’t avail themselves of it. They hang on to their misery, like it is a special blanket or favorite bath toy. Depression, left untreated, can also be a killer.
Are stupidity and depression contagious?
Yes, and no.
You cannot catch them like a cold, but by hanging with people who are not being rational, you will absorb their misery. You will begin to ruminate about what you heard them say, and maybe, in a less comfortable moment, begin to agree with them. Telling you not to do that is an invitation for you to give in. Instead, here are some positive suggestions that will give you a little armor against the exposures -
- Go outside, no matter how dreary it is. Get some fresh air.
- See the world, not a video presentation of it. Learn to accept reality. Put your cell phone away.
- Get exercise every day. Even a walk around the block, or a walk through a big box department store is helpful.
- If you have outside chores, develop a strategy to make the work serve more than one purpose. Get a laugh out of it if you possibly can. Life is full of things we’d rather not do. Rise to the challenge. Get it done, but do it in a way that keeps you from hurting yourself, getting sick, or worse, dying because you tried to get all your outside work done in adverse conditions.
- Rain will not kill you, but a flood will. Natural disasters are not something to ignore. When you get a warning, get out of the way. All warnings are like that. Don’t get in the path of Nature’s wrecking ball.
- When you hear someone shouting utter nonsense, and then proclaiming they're the "most fit" for a job they obviously cannot do, stop listening. Walk away. They don't get smarter the more you listen to them.
- If you want to do a job, learn what that job requires of you. You will not know everything, but begin acquiring those skills, tell the boss that you are doing that, and keep on learning and training yourself. Odds are you'll get drafted for doing something you weren't expecting, and it will be a good thing that you prepared yourself.
- Apples are delicious. Nothing else to say about that. Go eat one.
- Not everything in life is healthy for you. Life itself is lethal. Please find things to enjoy.
- Any time you feel a sudden desire to "teach someone a lesson,"take three breaths and let them out slowly. It shuts your voice down long enough for your brain to recognize that they'll never understand the lesson.
- Chocolate is also delicious. Some people can't have it, but that's not your problem ... unless it is. Then, don't eat it. Eat an apple instead.
- Three things you'll never have enough of - time, money and friends. Enjoy all of them while they're with you.
- Regret is a necessary waste of time. You are here to feel things, think about things, know a few things. You will make mistakes. We all do. Regret is how we learn that what we did, what happened, who we were with, what was said, were the wrong things. Make good use of your regrets, and learn from them. Never discard your lessons. Avoid people who will not face their regrets, or even own them.
- Some people like wine. Some like beer. Some like tequila and some like whiskey. It is all good, until it is not. You'll never know when that has happened. Trust others to tell you that you're too drunk.
- Don't deny yourself the good things life has to offer. Keep in mind, there really is such a thing as, “too much of a good thing.” Again, friends will help you understand. Pay attention.
- The world has changed. The world is changing. It was always so. You can choose to change along with it, grow, become and be amazed. You can also choose not to. We'll all miss you.
- I respect your choices, good or bad. I do not respect having your choices forced down MY throat, because of your say-so.
- Anyone clawing and shouting about "freedoms" is actually very frightened. Anyone who is aggressively displaying their threatening posture, showing you how tough they are, throwing their weight around, acting out, is very dangerous, because they're terrified that someone is coming to take away their freedom. Again, if you can walk away, do so. Resist your temptation to "teach them a lesson." Remember that breathing thing…
We can all learn to live with one another. Take a moment to offer someone a smile. You'll never know how horrible their day was, and what that smile meant to them.
Peace. Thanks for reading. Please share.
note: If you know someone who is struggling with depression, anxiety, mental illness, please refer them to the Columbia Lighthouse Project (cssrs.columbia.edu/...)