My wife has been a volatile person for many years. Mood swings were common, but my daughter and I assumed that maybe it was menopause. The hot flashes had been going on for years. Two auto accidents, one in 2003 and another in 2007, seemed to make the anger go over the top. During the legal battle of the second accident, my wife was sent to be evaluated by two psychologists. The second doctor interviewed both my wife and I. I informed him of the many intolerable angry outbursts. He proceeded to test my wife. His findings included anxiety and depression, which could provoke bursts of anger.
I've been under a lot of stress myself. I had been my aunt's guardian until her death in February. For five years, I was court ordered to visit her monthly in Florida, which made me a very good Delta customer. I took in my demented father in March of 2010. He still lives with me. Thank God for great assistance from the VA and hospice. I run a small business, but that has suffered as I give my time to others. I also have begun a charity. I was the victim of a doctor's mistake in 2003. I died for several minutes during a "routine procedure". I figured out that I was still here for a reason, so I'm giving back. I assist less fortunate young women in Central and Eastern Europe. Helping others seems to give me an "inner peace" in my maddening world. I'll be writing diaries on these other topics in the coming months.
In January, a friend of my daughter's approached me. She asked me if I had seen my daughter's Facebook entry that day. Of course, I had not. My daughter said, "I can't take this anymore", which I've cleaned up. She was talking about her mother. I'd always thought my wife's wrath was targeted at me. It was time to have a talk with my daughter. I learned that my daughter felt verbally abused for as long as she could remember. A few times, my wife grabbed her by the throat, because she didn't understand her homework from school. Mostly, my wife didn't help with homework at all. I did. I had to erase the crap that my daughter was being taught in Christian schools, another topic. I was the prototypical Mr. Mom. I bathed my daughter until she was old enough to do it herself. I drove her to school. We studied together. She would travel with me to visit my clients. She had her own "office" under my desk. We've always been close. For the past two years, we've taken four history courses together at the University of Delaware.
My wife obviously was jealous. She started calling her daughter "an idiot" and "a loser" in public. My wife's niece is a princess. She can do no wrong in the eyes of the family. My wife always compares our daughter to the niece, who got A's at university in an easy major. She wouldn't have lasted one semester taking the math and science courses that my daughter has taken to complete her major, Animal Sciences. I'm very proud of my daughter for what she's accomplished. She'll complete her degree this year. Mom has never praised her. Everything is negative.